On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, you’ll take a look at common ways anger shows up in the workplace. Alex will dispel common myths about anger, and teach you how to manage anger when conflict arises in the workplace. It’s not as easy as punching your pillow!
How do you manage your anger as a leader when things go wrong? How do you pull it together in such a way that corrects the behavior that you're trying to change?
On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, you’ll take a look at common ways anger shows up in the workplace. Alex will dispel common myths about anger, and teach you how to manage anger when conflict arises in the workplace. It’s not as easy as punching your pillow!
In our first segment, The Takeoff, you’ll hear about common myths surrounding anger. Alex will parse down when and why anger might happen while at work. Turns out: anger isn’t a bad thing, and it’s not always red and fiery like we are used to.
Tune into our next segment, The Level, where Alex shows you a few skills to deal with anger. Oftentimes, anger leaves us fearful, frustrated, and hyper-focused on negative feelings, but Alex’s tips will help you zoom out and see the bigger picture.
Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts as well as the YouTube channel to watch full video episodes and be notified as soon as the next episode is live.
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[00:00:00] Alex Willis: Hey, what's up guys? Alex Willis here, c e o of Leadership Surge. And I wanna personally welcome you to our show, no Bullshit with Alex Willis, the go-to source for leadership development in the construction industry. And my friends, I know you hear me say this all the time, but trust me, Today we have a hell of a show for you today.
[00:00:26] Alex Willis: Today we're diving into the one thing that destroys most teams as well as leadership credibility. Today we're talking about anger management. How the hell do you manage your anger as a leader when things go wrong, when the shit hits the fan, what do you do? How do you pull it together in such a way? That you correct the behavior that you're trying to change, but at the same time, you keep the team together, you keep your leadership trust and you hold onto that thing called your leadership shadow.
[00:00:55] Alex Willis: You don't wanna miss it. So tune into it, check it out. Hey, welcome guys. Welcome to the takeoff where we're diving into this beautiful thing called How do you handle anger management. Ah, You know, in construction, it is one of the things that we see all the time. We see it all the time where leaders lose their cool because something has gone wrong on the job site.
[00:01:18] Alex Willis: Now, let's be honest, something always goes wrong on the job site. Let's be real about that right Now, oftentimes this is one area that most of my leaders in construction, they struggle really, really bad with. This thing called anger. So today we're gonna talk about tips and tricks on how do you do it, but in this first segment, we're really gonna dive into what we like to call the anatomy of anger.
[00:01:40] Alex Willis: The anatomy of anger. So starting out to really begin to think about that, I wanna know a couple things. Number one, anger. Is it good or is it bad? Uh, what do you think? My friends, as the Jeopardy music plays anger, is it good or is it bad? Now, as we do trainees all over, we hear things all over the board as it pertains to this thing called anger.
[00:02:00] Alex Willis: We hear No, no, it's, it's horrible. It's, it's bad. We hear people say, oh, it can be good at times. And I love to tell our teams that truth be told, my friends, this thing called anger. It's neither, neither good nor bad. It's what you choose to do with it and how you handle it. Understand this anger can be used to destroy teens.
[00:02:23] Alex Willis: It can be used to destroy people and individuals. But at the same time, my friends anger can be used to motivate people to bring change in the world. We've seen people who have been angry because of issues that go on in society and as a, and as a result of their anger, they've channeled that energy to push that in the right direction to bring positive change in the world.
[00:02:45] Alex Willis: Right? So this thing called anger, it could be good or bad, is how you use it. And that is the ultimate thing I need you thinking about. Alright, now let's bring down, A couple myths that we understand about anger. I, I like to call these the five famous myths that we understand about anger. Myth number one is that men are angrier than women.
[00:03:09] Alex Willis: True of false. What do you think? My friends, true of false. Ah, the answer is false. Now men get a bad rap because men sometimes can be more aggressive. But understand that doesn't mean they're angrier than women, right? Truth be told, it's about even on this right here, and I jokingly, but seriously, at the same time, tell people, Hey, listen, you don't want to see a woman scorned man.
[00:03:31] Alex Willis: That can be brutal for you, right? So, so understand. Men are not angrier than women. Both are about, even as it pertains to this thing called anger. Now, how they express their anger may be different, right? So one may be a little more aggressive, one may be a little more violent, whereas one may be very subtle in how they do it, but it doesn't necessarily mean what has more anger than the other, right?
[00:03:54] Alex Willis: Myth number two is that punching a pillow or something of that nature can get rid of your anger. True and false. False. My friends, false. Understand this. Punching a pillow. It may alleviate that frustration right then, but it definitely does not get rid of the anger. The anger's still there. Think about it.
[00:04:13] Alex Willis: Just because I take my helmet and I smash my helmet against the screen or smashing my laptop, doesn't mean I got rid of my anger, right? For the moment. I just released that frustration, but the anger is still there, right? Understand this. Number, number number three is anger is all about getting even, all about getting even.
[00:04:34] Alex Willis: And truth be told, that's not oftentimes people are angry and they don't even necessarily want revenge on another person. But because of something that has taken place because of something that has transpired, they're angry. So it's not all about getting even. Uh, it just depends on what has happened, what has transpired.
[00:04:52] Alex Willis: Right? The next one that we often hear is that anger is instinctive and that you can't stop it. True False. As crazy as this may sound, understand this anger is instinctive. It is something that's inside of us at times, especially when people cross certain lines with us. But truth be told, my friends, we can stop anger right now.
[00:05:16] Alex Willis: You have to understand, in order to stop anger, you have to know a few things, which we're going to get in in a few minutes in order to do it, because there is something that I call the point of no return, right when you hit a certain level. Hit a certain space. If you're not careful, if you'll watch out, you won't be able to stop your anger, right?
[00:05:35] Alex Willis: Because you just jump right into that fight or flight mode. And before you know it, you're saying things, doing things that you wish you didn't do that you wish you could take back, that you can't. Right? So, so please, please do understand that. Now the last, last, last thing is this, that anger is a result due to other people.
[00:05:52] Alex Willis: What do you think about that? My friend? So, so basically, if I had to rephrase that, we're saying that other people make you angry. True or false. Now, the answer to this is very tricky and people get angry with me because of this. Truth be told, false. False. Other people do not make you angry, my friend.
[00:06:12] Alex Willis: Understand there's something inside of you that that person triggers. Right, but understand, they're just a trigger. They're, they're not the real cause of you being angry. You have to really do what I like to call, put a internal spotlight on why is this person pissing me off? What is it about this person that is pissing me off?
[00:06:33] Alex Willis: Understanding that it's not the person, it's something that is valuable to you that has been crossed, and as a result of that, It makes you angry. We're gonna dive into what that is, how that looks, and all this stuff here in this piece right here. When we really begin to dive into understanding what I like to call the right mindset for anger.
[00:06:52] Alex Willis: So what is the right mindset for anger? Because if you're gonna handle it, which you will get angry on job sites at times because the shit hits the fan quite often. But what's the right mindset in order for you to be able to handle it in such a way? That you still uphold that leadership shadow? Well, well, here's number one.
[00:07:12] Alex Willis: First thing you have to do is you have to understand that anger is an alarm telling you that there's something wrong. So, so imagine it's an alarm, a siren going off saying, Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Something's going on, something's going on, something's going on, something's going on. It's just an alarm saying, Hey, look what's inside of yourself?
[00:07:29] Alex Willis: What's going on right now? Because, Something has rubbed you the wrong way. So anger is just that aha moment, bringing that spotlight right to you. So the second thing is this. Understand, to have the right mindset, you have to understand that everyone gets angry. There's no one on earth that doesn't get angry.
[00:07:50] Alex Willis: So don't think it's something wrong with you because you get angry. It means you care. You're passionate. There's something that, that, you know, you hold valuable. So yeah, everyone gets angry, right? And understand. They have the right mindset. You must understand that you can, yes, you can stop the fight or flight if you get to it before.
[00:08:09] Alex Willis: If you understand your anger triggers, and we're gonna talk about that in a little bit, your anger triggers. If you understand those anger triggers, knowing what are those things that can kinda rub your wrong, you can get ahead and stop that fight or flight. All right? Understand that all angle gets expressed.
[00:08:26] Alex Willis: The right mindset clearly identifies and understand that there's no anger that does not get expressed. And oftentimes people push back on me with this one, but understand this, my friends, be it me yelling or screaming or cursing at you expressing it that way, or be it me shutting down, being very silent, saying nothing to you.
[00:08:47] Alex Willis: Yeah, both are very different but. Both got expressed right? So understand all anger gets expressed in one way, shape, or form. And it's important for you to know that right there, right? And, and please last but not least, for having the right mindset for anger. You must understand that people are not disturbed by things, but the view they take on them.
[00:09:08] Alex Willis: Ah, now that's a tough one. I'm gonna say that again. People are not disturbed by things, but the view that they take on them. This is why I say it's very important that you understand people don't make you angry. People don't piss you off. My friends. It's your view and the view that you take on what they're doing.
[00:09:30] Alex Willis: Right. Key point in construction, oftentimes one thing that makes a lot of our people in construction angry is seeing a lazy worker. Oh. For some of you right now listening to the show, I know you just cringe in your seat right now. Oh, lazy worker. He, right? You're like, oh, that, looking and seeing that person be so lazy just pissed me off.
[00:09:53] Alex Willis: Uh, I wanna challenge you on that. It's not that person, it's your value and your view of work. It's how you see work, and it's your self-esteem and the place that you value put on work. So when you see someone violating that value that you have, It makes you upset because understand, someone else could see that exact same thing and it not piss them off at all.
[00:10:14] Alex Willis: They say, Hey, oh, well, hey dude, take as many breaks as you want. Hey man, smoke 'em if you got 'em, dude, smoke them if you got 'em right. Whereas if you value work. And you have a high perception of what work should be, how it goes, and what it should look like. Yeah. You're going to be pissed off when you see that person.
[00:10:31] Alex Willis: Right. The last thing I wanna go over in this takeoff segment is understanding why it's so important for you to get ahead of this thing called anger as a leader. Because understand, in construction, my friends, at times, we do a horrible job with our health. And we have some things to talk about coming up later, some future episodes, some surprises that I'm gonna keep, that's gonna help you a little bit with your health.
[00:10:54] Alex Willis: But anger is one thing that can really destroy your health. I did this workshop in Dallas, Texas, and when we did this workshop, we actually had someone in our workshop who was struggling with anger and because of anger, he had several health problems. High blood pressure, cardiovascular disease. He was struggling with this, so, so understand this segment helped him understand how to get a grip on that, which ultimately helped him with health issues.
[00:11:26] Alex Willis: So, so what are some key areas that you need to think about that anger can take down in your help? Number one is energy. When you're angry, understand anger zaps your energy. So please understand if you start the day pissed off. You will end today dog tired because anger sucks the life outta you, my friends, and so therefore, you don't even have the energy to do other things because your anger.
[00:11:52] Alex Willis: The next one is anger actually has been associated with high blood pressure. Think about it. Most people when I say, Hey, listen, what are your anger signs? Most people say, oh man, my headache, my head starts pounding. Oh, my heart starts racing. Why? Because you increase blood pressure. The longer you're angry, the higher that stays at those heightened levels, which is very, very detrimental to your health.
[00:12:12] Alex Willis: Right. Very, very interesting, fun fact that I did not know until we did this segment, which is anger actually stops the digestive system. Think about that. My friends, when you are angry, it's as if your body shuts down. So the digestive system just says, Hey, whoa, dude, not operating, not performing right now.
[00:12:33] Alex Willis: Shut down. Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally. Another one is that anger weakens your immune system, so the more angry you are, you know, oftentimes cold sickness not feeling well. I mean all of that stuff hurts really, really bad when you think about that right there. So it's important for you to understand as a leader, not only does anger destroy your team, it also destroys you.
[00:12:59] Alex Willis: And so in order for you to be the best leader that you could be for your team, As well as for you to be in the best possible shape and mental and physical and emotional condition for yourself, you have to get over this thing called anger. And so in the upcoming segments, trust me, we're gonna break it down to show you exactly what to do, how to do it so you're not a walking time bomb.
[00:13:22] Alex Willis: Blowing up. Losing your shit on everyone. So in the upcoming segment and the next one, the level, we're gonna show you how to level the playing field. You like that. We're gonna level the playing field on this thing called angle to actually give you the advantage so that you know how to get ahead of it, and you can be a phenomenal leader.
[00:13:42] Alex Willis: Keeping your team together and understanding how to control yourself as. Still get amazing results. So my friends, I'll see you in the next segment, the level where we begin to talk about this thing called the right skillset set to manage your anger. See you soon. So I wanna thank you again for tuning in to No Bullshit with Alex Willis, the number one source for leadership development in the construction industry.
[00:14:05] Alex Willis: Make sure you subs. Subscribe wherever you get your podcast. And please, please, please, please, please don't forget to hit play on that next section.