On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, you’ll take a look at common ways anger shows up in the workplace. Alex will dispel common myths about anger, and teach you how to manage anger when conflict arises in the workplace. It’s not as easy as punching your pillow!
How do you manage your anger as a leader when things go wrong? How do you pull it together in such a way that corrects the behavior that you're trying to change?
On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, you’ll take a look at common ways anger shows up in the workplace. Alex will dispel common myths about anger, and teach you how to manage anger when conflict arises in the workplace. It’s not as easy as punching your pillow!
In our final segment, The Frame Out, we hear our first listener question. You’ll learn ways to transform the anger you feel before it even arises, and change the way you react to your feelings while delegating in the workplace. A deep breath can go a long way!
Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts as well as the YouTube channel to watch full video episodes and be notified as soon as the next episode is live.
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[00:00:00] Alex Willis: Hey, my friends. Welcome back to episode eight, the frame out where we're really diving into this huge topic for us at Construction Anger Management, right? Yeah. But before we dive into the last segment, uh, I really want to address, I've had my first question. Mark from Gainesville threw a great question out to us based on one of our previous episodes, and he had this awesome thing to say, Hey, listen.
[00:00:33] Alex Willis: He said, Alex, it's great to understand the power of trust and understanding how important trust is. And he mentioned that, you know, hey, it's easy to trust someone that looks like you, believes like you believe that works the way you work. But when all of those things are different, how do you build trust with someone who's totally different than you?
[00:00:53] Alex Willis: Now, mark. My friend. Great question. Great question, and we're gonna really dive into that in a future episode, but, but long story short, understand trust is very difficult to build. And there's a really cool book called The Speed of Trust, right? The Speed of Trust, which does a great job with this. Now, understand I tend to look at things a little differently, mark.
[00:01:14] Alex Willis: I tend to lead with trust, and I've learned this from a phenomenal c e O in Jacksonville, Florida by the name of Henry Brown, who challenges all of his employees to lead with trust. Meaning we give it away. First, and if that person ability to lose it after I've given it to 'em, right? So even though they may look differently than I do, I, I say, you know what?
[00:01:34] Alex Willis: I'm going to trust this person. And of course this is. You gotta be careful with what you trust them with Mark. So understand that, right? But leading with trust helps a lot, a ton with that. Now, how do you build it with someone different? Well, number one is consistency, right? So that takes time. And so it's, it's showing up over and over and over doing what you said you were going to do and consistently doing that.
[00:01:55] Alex Willis: Now, consistency means a ton. So if I see that person constantly doing it, it helps. Now the next is evaluating their skillset. Yeah, I don't know the person, but understanding their resume, understanding their skills. The more I get the chance to understand them and know them, the higher their skill is for whatever it is I need done, I begin to trust them more.
[00:02:14] Alex Willis: Right? So understand, I see their skillset and they have a high skillset. I see them consistently delivering over time, right? With those results, it helps me trust them a little bit more. Right. And then the last one that we'll talk about just in this segment, which we're going to go into this more and a future episode, is accountability.
[00:02:33] Alex Willis: If I see that person taking personal accountability when they make a mistake, when they, when they make an accident, personal accountability following up with me, it helps me build that trust more. So when I mix all three of those together, it helps me begin to really trust those who look differently than I do because I evaluate their skillset.
[00:02:51] Alex Willis: Right. I began to look at their consistency and their accountability, right? And so we'll dive in more on that a little later, mark, in an upcoming episode where we'll break all of that down, really begin to talk about trust, how you build it, what that looks like, right? But today, one thing that breaks down trust my, my friends, is anchor.
[00:03:10] Alex Willis: Understand. If you lose your shit on all your employees and your friends, trust me, they don't trust you as a leader, so you have to do a great job and understand. In the previous segments we've talked about how to have the right mindset, the right skillset to manage it really, really well. But what about body language?
[00:03:27] Alex Willis: Now, understand this, there are a few things that you have to do. Number one, when you're dealing with someone who may be angry with you as a leader. Your body language says a ton, and you wanna do a great job of mastering that. And so how do you do that? Well, number one, maintain good eye contact. You know, when the person's talking to you be respected, they're bringing something to your attention that has angered them or someone on the team.
[00:03:52] Alex Willis: You have to really thank them for that and respect that, my friend, because oftentimes I tell people oftentimes it is lonely at the top. What do I mean by that? Well, oftentimes people don't bring things to leaders. They just talk behind your back. So the fact that someone's willing to take time out to give you a creative criticism, it's phenomenal.
[00:04:13] Alex Willis: I mean, I tend to thank everyone who does that because that means, hey, they took their time to come tell me something, whether I agree with it or not. I still can kind of analyze it and see it, right? So, so number one, maintain good eye contact. I say number two, notice your body posture, right? I tell people all the time, and I have to work on this myself.
[00:04:32] Alex Willis: When a person comes to me to give me some kind of feedback, you know, this is comfortable for Alex. I, I like this, this, this position. It feels good, you know, but this is really closed off and you have to be careful with this. So for me, when a person brings me feedback, ands, especially if they're angry and upset, I try to open up and have an open posture say, what's going on?
[00:04:53] Alex Willis: How, how are you? How are you? Right? So I have to constantly remind myself of that. Right? And if you're not careful, folding arms, clenching fists. That never is a good sign, my friends, right? So you wanna watch that body language. The next thing is, notice your proximity right now. Now, typically you wanna be closer to that person.
[00:05:09] Alex Willis: The closer you are to that person, the better you can be with that. Now, unless you find yourself just getting heated up as a heated conversation, more space may be needed. Alright? I want you to pay attention to your facial expressions. Oftentimes, I have a lot of leaders. Their face says it all. My wife and I have an inside word that we use that we're talking to each other.
[00:05:31] Alex Willis: When someone says something that just makes us like, whoa, we kinda whistle. Watch your, check your face. Check your face, right? So we're, you know, trying to change your face real quick, right? Check your face, check your face. And I try to challenge my leaders to say, check your face when someone's delivering information to you.
[00:05:50] Alex Willis: That's, you know, can drive you insane. Check your face. Check your face. Try your best to, Ooh, let me check my face. I remember I was in a meeting not too long ago, man. My face said it all. I forgot totally to check my face. People knew exactly what I was thinking and how I was feeling, right? The next thing is pay attention to your gestures, your body gestures, your, you know, blowing and huffing and puffing it, all those different things.
[00:06:13] Alex Willis: Oftentimes, that doesn't do a great job for you. It oftentimes escalates the conversation. And then last but not least, watch your tone. Watch your volume. Tone and volume. And what do I mean by that? Well, oftentimes when people get upset, my friends, we get very loud, right? We start screaming, right? And so I tell people, Hey, turn it down a couple notches, turn it down a couple notches on purpose, because you need to understand that naturally you are going to escalate, and that voice is going to pick up a little bit more.
[00:06:43] Alex Willis: So therefore, by purposefully turning down your voice, you can do a phenomenal job of working with people and you can do a great job with that, right? Last thing for you, my friends, I want you to think about last thing for you here. Number one, when you're working with people, do a great job of listening to what their issue or problem is.
[00:07:04] Alex Willis: If you can do that, you can do that really well. You can really begin to build trust with your team. Number two, acknowledge that person's anger. They're angry to say, Hey, listen. I see, I understand, right? Number three, try your best, which is very important to move that person to the logical side of the brain.
[00:07:22] Alex Willis: And you can typically do that by asking open-ended questions, right? By asking questions, it helps you really begin to have that person analyze why they're angry, what's going on, and, and by doing that, it helps them really begin to calm down a little. Right, because one, you've listened to them, you've acknowledged that they were upset, and you've asked these open-ended questions to get them thinking and talking about it.
[00:07:46] Alex Willis: Understand this, my friends. If you could begin to master this thing called anchor, you can do a heck of a job of working together with your team, keeping the respect that they have for you, keeping the motivation and the morale high and getting work done, and even getting things corrected that you see need to be changed.
[00:08:06] Alex Willis: When you begin to come in like a wrecking ball, you destroy your credibility. You destroy the momentum of the team, the morale of the team, and oftentimes you forfeit your win because you just want it to be. So we want to challenge you, my friends, get ahead of this thing called anger. Really begin to understand what it means to have the right mindset, the skillset, watching your body language and acknowledging the anger in others, and helping them walk away from that anger by asking those questions and challenging them so you can have open dialogue together.
[00:08:39] Alex Willis: Creating phenomenal environments where people feel and understand that they belong, even when they disagree. I appreciate you being here, my friends. Have a good one, guys. So I wanna thank you again for tuning in to No Bullshit with Alex Willis, the number one source for leadership development in the construction industry.
[00:08:56] Alex Willis: And be sure to subscribe on YouTube for your favorite podcasting platform so that you can be notified when we release new episodes, my friends. And please, please, please understand we're here for you. We want you to thrive and strive as a leader to be your best self, to be phenomenal, both at work as well as at home.
[00:09:14] Alex Willis: So please leave a comment, we're here to help you. We wanna know where you may have challenges, what should we put on the show next? We wanna make sure we're serving you well, my friends, so that you can be phenomenal, like I said, both at work as well as at home. So, until next time, I'll see you later my friends.