On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, Alex will guide you to take a look at various areas of your personal lives, and assess your happiness. Instead of repeating boring motivational catchphrases, he shares key ways to visualize the success you want in life, and how you can turn them into actionable goals right away.
Think about your perfect life: your dream job, dream partner, dream lifestyle… is it possible to “have it all”? What does having it all even look like? Often, many of us focus solely on improving our professional lives. But what about our personal life?
On today’s episode of No Bullshit with Alex Willis, Alex will guide you to take a look at various areas of your personal lives, and assess your happiness. Instead of repeating boring motivational catch phrases, he shares key ways to visualize the success you want in life, and how you can turn them into actionable goals right away.
In our third segment, The Foundation, where Alex debunks common myths about what it takes to “have it all”. You’ll see that discipline can lead to more freedom, not all work you do brings the same amount of results, and we only have so much energy every day!
Tune into our final segment, The Frame Out, where we take everything we’ve learned and take action today! What can we do right now to better our lives, so that our “someday” goals actually come true?
Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts as well as the YouTube channel to watch full video episodes and be notified as soon as the next episode is live.
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[00:00:00] Alex Willis: Hey. Hey my friends. Welcome back to No Bullshit with Alex Willis. Super, super excited to have you here. As we really begin to dive into this concept of the have it all lifestyle, how do we have a phenomenal personal life outside of work? Right outside of work? Now we've shared several tips. In our first two segments, also some great hook for you to think about.
[00:00:28] Alex Willis: If you wanna check it out, go back and listen to those segments. Trust me, you want those that will help you out, right? So in this segment, the foundation, we're gonna really begin to lay a foundation for you that you can really begin to build on to say how you can truly, truly, truly have it all now. But before we be on that foundation, there's six myths that we have to dispel.
[00:00:49] Alex Willis: Six myths about having it on, about the work that's intended. For you to do that we have to dispel, and number one is this, number one. The first myth is that everything matters equally. Right? That bullshit. Everything does not matter. Equally, my friends, you can just think about that from a workout standpoint.
[00:01:09] Alex Willis: Uh, we talked about this in other episodes before that 80 20 rule, right? Where you can find the 20% of things that give you 80% of results. Understand everything in your life is not equal, and so therefore it shouldn't be treated equal. So if you're gonna have to have it all lifestyle, you have to understand that concept and principle and begin to apply that principle to your life in such a way.
[00:01:27] Alex Willis: That is truly, truly, truly beneficial to you. Now, where do we get this from? This segment right here comes from a book called The One Thing, which talks about how do you get extraordinary results, right? It's called the One Thing. How do You Get Extraordinary Results and, and Understand? So that myth number one, everything matters equally.
[00:01:44] Alex Willis: Myth number two is multitasking saves you time. It does not. It actually wastes time for you. So understand when it comes down to doing multiple things, you get more benefit, more effort, better results. When you focus, when you focus, Hey, listen. Say, you know what? For the next three months, I am focusing in on this key aspect of life.
[00:02:09] Alex Willis: I'm gonna make sure it is phenomenal, right? And once I get this in place, then I begin to say, okay, hey, I'm going to put more dedicated focus in this other area, right? This brings me to principle number three, that you have to understand this myth, which is the power of a discipline life. Understand this, people tend to hate discipline, but the truth is, my friends, the more disciplined you are, the more freedom you have.
[00:02:36] Alex Willis: Ah. Think about that. That sounds crazy. But the more disciplined you are, the more freedom you have. If you are disciplined, going to the gym seven days a week, hour, two hours, whatever your regimen is, please understand, you could probably eat whatever you want. Your diet is no diet. Why? Because you are disciplined enough to understand.
[00:02:57] Alex Willis: The things that you need to do, and you do them in such a way that it helps you out. I, I love this quote that I heard not too long ago that talked about this. There are no extraordinary people in life. I know you like what you talking about, Willis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are no extraordinary people in life.
[00:03:14] Alex Willis: No extraordinary people in life. No, no, no, not none. No, no, no, no, no. Extraordinary people in life. But here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Those who have extreme success, who have extreme success, They just do the ordinary a little more extra. So, so understand that there are no extraordinary people in life, those who have extreme success, they just do ordinary shit extra, right?
[00:03:39] Alex Willis: So they spend a little more time, little more discipline doing those things that other people won't do. So they're not special? No. They just have extreme discipline to say, you know what, I'm just gonna wake my ass up and go to the gym every single day. I don't care how I feel. There's nothing extraordinary about that, that's ordinary, but they've gone the extra mile to do it a little bit more, and as a result of that, they get extreme results.
[00:04:03] Alex Willis: Right. Brings me to number four, which is this Understand. Most people think or believe, willpower is always on call. Like you can always just say, oh, I can just wheel myself off of it. No, that's bullshit. No, you can't. Willpower is like your cell phone battery, my friend. Right? It dies down. It has limited bandwidth, and over time it is dying down and it goes if you don't use it correctly.
[00:04:27] Alex Willis: There was a real crazy study done with circuit court judges in a certain area, and here's what they found. My friends, they, they began to analyze the judge. Right, and they, they, they realized that people who went before the judge first thing in the morning had a better chance of getting a lighter sentence, be it parole, be it getting off, be it just a finer probation, versus the people who would meet the judge right before lunch, right?
[00:04:57] Alex Willis: Mm-hmm. Right before lunch. Right. Those who will meet the judge right before lunch. Most times in this study, judge had a short fuse. Not as forgiving, not as empathetic, not as compassionate. Why? Well, they've gone from eight o'clock this morning to lunchtime, and as a result of that, they've kind of fallen off and willpower just, and focus just isn't there right now.
[00:05:17] Alex Willis: Right now, after lunch, a study changed because after lunch it had another spike. So if you got a chance to see that judge after lunch, hey, willpower was at, its all time high again, but it dwindled down toward midday. Mid-afternoon you will see dropoffs again. So, so what does that show us, that study? Well, that study shows us that none of us, my friends, have unlimited willpower.
[00:05:37] Alex Willis: So you have to use it wisely and understand when and how to use it and where to use it. Right. Brings me to number five. Number five is this lie of living a balanced life. Please understand balance is bullshit. We tend to think we are gonna lead this balanced life where we teeter and totter back and forth.
[00:05:55] Alex Willis: If you do that, you'll be great at nothing. Understand greatness is at the edges, right? So you have to commit and be disciplined to go all out of the area, and usually on the outliers of that area is where greatness happens. If you teeter and totter in the middle, you'll be half-ass subpar in all the things that you do.
[00:06:18] Alex Willis: So it brings me to this great point that I had to understand from my family and us, which is we had to really begin to design and construct a family structure that works for us. What do I mean by that? Well, we had to understand we're not a traditional family. So when it comes to time, when it comes to us hanging out, when it comes to us doing things, it doesn't look like everyone else.
[00:06:40] Alex Willis: I had to begin to understand that, you know, what time or quantity and quality are two totally different things. So when you begin to understand what balance looks like for you, you could begin to not live this dream that it has to be even and equal, but you begin to live this dream and understand that, hey, listen.
[00:06:58] Alex Willis: No, no, no. It just has to be impactful, right? So being impactful is something totally, totally different. The big other other thing is this, people tend to think that big is bad. The big is bad, and that's bullshit because they begin to only make plans based on what they think they currently have the ability to do right now today.
[00:07:19] Alex Willis: That's the worst thing you could do, my friends. Basing your life on where you are currently today. You gotta understand this over time and over this journey, you're gonna learn some amazing skills, how to do certain things, and as you begin to understand that, you can begin to go for that bigger dream.
[00:07:34] Alex Willis: There's a cool dude named Grant Cardone. Some people like him, some people don't. I don't care what you think about him. I, I like his mentality. Grant talks about 10 xing your dreams. So if you look back in the last segment, we talked a lot about doing, uh, writing your vision, writing your vision. What I want you to do is I want you to grant Cardone it, right?
[00:07:53] Alex Willis: What do I mean by that? I want you to go back and look at that vision, and I want you to times at times 10 to say, what would it look like times 10 to do the things that I said I wanted to do on my list. Now, I know some of you would, that'll scare the shit out of you. I get it. But understand if you're gonna be successful in life, sometimes you have to be afraid and scared to do it.
[00:08:13] Alex Willis: As you do that, my friends, it helps you lean in to understand how to become your best self right now. If you can begin to do that, you can begin to set your life up in such a way that you begin to lay the dominoes in place. And if you've ever played dominoes as a kid, you understand this concept. When you get momentum going with dominoes, it's hard to stop the momentum.
[00:08:34] Alex Willis: The same is true with our lives. When we begin to understand what we want. Understand why we want it really begin to come against those myths. We can really begin to line ourselves up, right? And say, what's the vision? What is it that I want? Where is it that I want to go? Now there's one question, one question that will help you do that, and it's called the focusing question.
[00:08:57] Alex Willis: This helps focus your mind. Some people say it's the lazy question, right? The focusing question, the lazy question, whatever you wanna call it. I think it's something you should consider adding to your life. And here's the question, my friends, what's the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?
[00:09:20] Alex Willis: Hmm. Think about that. So, If you go back to segment one, the takeoff, we talked about this will of life, this will of life in which you evaluate yourself in all of these key areas to see where you are, how you're doing. Now, once you evaluate yourself in those key areas, I want you to apply the focusing question to those areas and say, wait a minute.
[00:09:39] Alex Willis: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the one thing that I can do that by doing it makes everything else in my life either easier or unnecessary. What's the one thing now? The first time I did this, I was thinking deep, oh, I gotta, I gotta go hire a life coach, or I need to do this, or I need to do that. But I want you to really begin to think simple.
[00:10:00] Alex Willis: I want you to think really, really simple right now. And what do I mean by thinking simple? Here's what I mean by that. Really pull it down to one of the easiest things that you can do to affect all of those areas. Now, here's what I found for myself. For me, and I implemented this years ago, and it was a life changer for me, a game changer.
[00:10:19] Alex Willis: One thing, what's the one thing that I can do that by doing? It affects all of those areas in my circle of life. Get my ass up earlier. I realize, Hey dude, if you get up every day between four and four 30, you have time to out. You have time to meditate, you have time to pray. You have time to put your to-do list together for today.
[00:10:49] Alex Willis: You have time to research your personal development for a few minutes. You have time to research how to be a great husband, how to be a great dad. All you have to do bro, is get up a little early. So I was able to implement that into my life and I immediately saw impact in those key areas by asking that one question.
[00:11:09] Alex Willis: So as we end this segment, I want you to stay, take some time. Look at that wheel of life, those key areas, and I want you to ask that one question. I'm not asking that one question in every area right now. I want you to go really broad and ask yourself that question for all of those areas and give one answer.
[00:11:29] Alex Willis: What's the one thing that you can do that by doing it makes every one of those other areas either easier. Or unnecessary. Right? What is it that you could do by finding the answer to that, my friends, it's the start of you really living this journey called the have it all lifestyle, really make meeting your maximum of attention.
[00:11:50] Alex Willis: Now, in our last segment, as we talk about the frame out, we're gonna really begin to frame out some other key pieces of how do you really begin to stack your life in such a way so that you can really begin to plan it. And not only plan it, but do a hell of a job executing it so that you can get. So we'll see you in the next segment, my friends.
[00:12:10] Alex Willis: Hey, I wanna personally thank you for tuning into No Bullshit with Alex Willett, the number one go-to source for leadership development in the construction industry. And hey, don't forget to hit play on the next segment.